Friday 11 April 2008

Busy, busy!

What a busy few days - well, today and yesterday at least. What a shame that I had to 'lose it' with a Doctor on Wednesday to start to get anything done!

I phoned the hospital bereavement office at 10am on Wednesday, as instructed, to arrange to collect the death certificate so I could register Mum's death and start arrangements, only to be told that it wasn't available yet but they would contact me when it was. Expecting that to be within a couple of hours max I waited - and waited. I phoned back again but still no cert available. Waited again, phoned again - same reply. Made comment that it wasn't good enough and was offered to be put through to a doctor so I could complain ............. which I did. I have to confess that I ended up shouting and crying however, half hour later certificate was available. I did have to make the point that Mum might be dead but she was no less important, especially as I'd been waiting, that day, for 6 hours and she had, in fact, died the night before! Bereavement office thanked me when I finally got to pick up the cert yesterday morning as they say they have great trouble with the doctors completing these forms. They don't consider the people left behind.

Things have now moved on and everything - and I mean everything, not just the funeral - is arranged or in hand and all we can now do is sit and wait.

Cremation is next Friday, 18th April followed by lunch at the local Garden Centre where the youngsters, who won't be at the Crematorium, can join us. It is where Great-Grandma took them for 'Breakfast with Santa' every year. There will be no service and the music will be from the Sound of Music. The committal will be to 'So Long, Farewell'. The only flowers will be a small cut and tied spray bouquet of as many daisy varieties as possible plus a few chyrsanths - from 'her babies'.

There is a story behind all this. Mum has spoken for years about what she wanted when the time came - 'No fuss, no flowers and a cardboard box' She didn't really want a funeral at all but, as needs must, it is going to be as close to that as possible. Unfortunately the 'cardboard box' is somewhat more expensive than the cheapest traditional coffin so, because she'd hate the idea of us spending more than necessary, it's the cheapest coffin! The flowers from 'her babies' are our compromise to take the plainness off of the coffin but are going to be daisy's because Daisy was her name and - she hated it! She was only ever known by her middle name (which is also mine) Joy. The music is because she loved Austria and The Sound of Music (although I was the only one that thought 'The Lonely Goatherd' would be a good choice to come out to) and she didn't want any mourning so it's 'no black' as well.

All in all I think we'll have done her proud and I can see her smiling ruefully while we still get it in the neck for the few flowers (& type) that will be there but finally, we can do something our way and not hers!

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